John's Jokes: Oxymorons

Ancient Greek:: Oxus = "sharp"; Moros = "dull"
"Oxymoron" = a sharp dullness or a foolish wise.: ...a self contradicting phrase.

Acid Rain
Act Naturally
Adult male
Advanced BASIC
Airline Food
A Little Big
Almost Done
Almost Exactly
Almost Perfect
Almost Ready (also Not Quite Finished)
Alone Together
Amateur Expert
Anti-Missile Missile
Art Director
Artificial Grass
Awfully Good (also Terribly Good)
Baby Grand
Band Jocks
Barely Dressed
Bathing Suit
Bittersweet
Black Light
Brief Survey
British Fashion
Business Ethics
Butt Head
Cafeteria Food
California Culture
Calm Wind
Catdog
Cautiously Optimistic
Cheerleading Scholarship
Childproof
Christian Scientists
Civil Servant
Civil War
Clearly Misunderstood
Comfortable High Heels
Commercial Art
Computer Jock
Computer Security
Convergent Evolution
Congressional Ethics
Conspicuous Absence
Corporate Culture
Country Music
Criminal Justice
Crisis Management
Curved Line
Deafening Silence
Death Benefits
Definite Maybe
Diet Ice Cream
Divorce Court
Dodge Ram
Doing Nothing
Double Solitaire
Down Escalator
Dressy Casual
Dry Ice
Dry Wine
Dull Shine
Elementary Calculus
Evaporated Milk
Even Odds
Exact Estimate
Extinct Life Form
Extra Time
Eyes Wide Shut
Fast Food
Fast Idle
Firm Maybe
First Annual
Fish Farm
Found Missing
Freezer Burn
Fresh from Concentrate
Fresh Frozen
Fried Ice Cream
Friendly Argument
Friendly Fire
Front End
Fucking Virgin
Full-size Minivan
Future History
Gay Republican
Genuine Imitation
Good Grief
Good Morning
Good Shit
Gourmet Pizza
Government Organization
Government Worker
Grand Children
Great Depression
Guest Host
Half Full (also Half Empty)
Hamburger Steak
Happily Married
Hard Water
Holy War
Honest Crook
Hopelessly Optimistic
Hot Chili
Hot Ice / Icy Hot
Hot water heater
House Ethics
Ice Water
Idiot Savant
Ill Health
Important Game
Industrial Park
Instant Classic
Income Tax
Intense Apathy
Irate Patient
Jumbo Shrimp
Larger Half
Lean Pork
Lee Jackson King Day (a state holiday in Virginia for Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson and Martin Luther King)
Legally Drunk
Light-Heavyweight
Liquid Gas
Little Giant
Live Recording
Living Dead
Loud Whisper
Male Intellect
Mandatory Option
Marijuana Initiative
Medium Large
Metal Woods (it's a golf thing)
Microsoft Works
Mighty Weak
Mild Abrasive
Minor Disaster
Military Intelligence
Mobil Station
Mobile Home
Modern Art
Modern History
Modern Tradition
Monopoly (Mono Poly)
Nearly Completed
New Classic
Night Light
No-good Do-gooder!
Non-alcoholic beer
Non-dairy creamer
Non-stop Flight
Nothing Much
"Now, then..."
Numb Feeling
Old News
Only Choice
Organized Mess
Original Copy
Partially Completed
Passive Aggression
Peace Force
Peacekeeper Missile
Perfect Idiot
Perfectly Normal
Plastic Flowers
Plastic Glasses
Plastic Lemons
Plastic Silverware
Political Science
Postal Service
Pro-choice Christian
Pretty Ugly
Quickly Slowing Down
Random Logic (also Fuzzy Logic)
Rap Music
Religious Tolerance
Representative Democracy
Required Elective
Resident Alien
Restless Sleep
Rubber Bones
Safe Sex
Same Difference
Sanitary Landfill
Second Best
Silent Scream
Simple Confusion
Singular Relationship
Sitting Up
Slightly Pregnant
Slightly Overweight
Small Crowd
Smart Ass
Smart Blonde
Soft Rock
Software Documentation
Speed Limit
Squared Circle (wrestling term)
Standard Deviation
State Development
State Worker
Stationary Orbit
Student Athlete
Student Teacher
Sure Bet
Sweet Sorrow
Synthetic Natural Gas
Tainted Love
Taped Live
Temporary Tax Increase
Terribly Nice
Terribly Pleased
"This page intentionally left blank"
Thunderous Silence
Tight Slacks
Toll Free
Tough Love
Turned Up Missing
Twelve-ounce Pound Cake
Unacceptable Solution
Unauthorized Autobiography
Unbiased Opinion
Unsalted Saltines
Unwelcome Greetings
Vanilla Fudge
Wet Drywall
Whisper Loudly
White Chocolate
Wireless cable
Work Party
Working Vacation

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